Tondemo Skill de Isekai Hourou Meshi - Chapter 399

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Chapter 399: An Old Man’s Story

Translated by Zzonkedd

Edited by Gumihou

Gumi: Looks like the Director is doomed to be a nameless Old Man.

After the children had eaten their fill, they rushed out of the dining room to [6] their various activities.

As the children left the cafeteria, [6] they all passed by me to say ‘Thank you, uncle’, or ‘That was really delicious, uncle!’. [1] Not a single one of them called me ‘older brother’...

To be honest, I was rather devastated.

After the children were gone, I looked into the pot and sure enough, it had been scraped clean. Not even a single bean was left behind. [5] [4] “Ah, well, I’m sorry to say there is nothing left in the pot,” [7] I said apologetically to the Director.

“That’s fine, I’m full from seeing them eat so happily.”

I can see that the Director was someone who would give the best he could for the children. He must have been eating potatoes and hard bread all this while too, just like the kids.

So, I took out the bowl of Pork & Beans I had put away for myself and held it out to the Director. “Here, have this.”

“Woah, is that alright?”

[6] Steam was rising from the stew and I saw him gulp.

“It’s fine, I have to make more for my familiars later and one portion more or less doesn’t make a difference.” I nodded at the corner where Fer and Dora-chan had backed themselves into

“Oho, if that’s the case, don’t mind me,” said the Director as he helped himself to the Pork & Beans.

[8] Woah, that was a great heaping mouthful.

“Huff, I can see why the kids would fight over this. [6] The meat’s good, of course. But, having beans in tomato stew makes it extra hearty. I can see why they would fight to get more.”

“Thank you, unfortunately, I’m limited by ingredients...”

“Mmm, a stew with meat, vegetable and beans count as a luxury meal for us here. We only get to eat it a few times a year.”

“Meat... only a few times a year...”

I suddenly felt awkward about our daily meat, meat, meat meals. [6] I have gotten to the point where I am kind of sick of meat, as for my familiars... well. A-anyway, I have collected plenty of meat from the eat dungeon. From regular and high-level monsters. So, it should be fine to give them some regular dungeon beef and pork, right?

[8] “Ahem, Director-san, do you accept non-monetary contribution? I have recently been to Rosendal and we collected quite a lot of dungeon beef and pork...”

“Really? You want to donate meat!!?” the Director looked very excited.

“Ah, yes, I am, ah, but please, uh, enjoy your meal first.”

“Ah? Ah, ah yes.”

He quickly gulped down the Pork & Bean stew with a speed that belied his age.

“Right, I’m done,” [7] he wiped his mouth and continued, “so, regarding your donation...” [5] [9]

“Ah, yes?”

“You’ll be donating meat, yes? How much are we talking about?”

“Uh, how much can you take? I mean, do you have a way to safely keep large amounts of raw meat?”

It was a valid question, while things like cold rooms and cooling magic tools exist in this world, but from what I have seen, they were really specialised and limited to the rich. Unless...

“Does someone have an [Item Box] here? One of the children maybe?”

“Hah, if that’s the case, they would never end up in an orphanage.”

“Ah, that’s true...”

“Come with me, I have an ace up my sleeve.”

I, along with my familiars, trailed after the Director.

“Wait a moment, please,” said the Director when we stopped in front of his office. He opened the door and furtively darted in, leaving us outside.

“... okay...”

A couple of minutes later, the door opened again, “You can enter now.”

[5] So we entered.

The office, which had been small when I was here earlier, was positively cramped with Fer and Dora-chan with us.

Fer had a disgruntled look on his face, so I said, “Do you want to wait outside?”


““I refuse!””

“Eh, ah, are you afraid of the kids?”

[5a] “Gunununu...”

“Ahem, it’s a bit cramped in here, but we can put up with it for a little while,” I said.

““Umu,”” Fer muttered as he settled down in a corner.

“Fuhahaha, as expected of the great Fenrir, he’s able to withstand their energy.” The Director laughed. Then, he leaned in and showed me something. “Here, this is my ace.”

“This is... a magic bag?”

“Ou, as expected, you know about these things. Well, I got it when I was an Adventurer back in the day. I keep this a secret from everyone, but I thought it should be fine to show you guys.”

[9] [8] I see, so all that secrecy was for the hidden location of this item. While I don’t know the market price for magic bags, my servants had been afraid to take one around. Considering the precautions the Director took, it must be really valuable.

[4] “It’s a medium capacity magic bag with time slowing function.”

[6] “A time slowing function?” this was my first time hearing something like this.

[4] “Time is suppressed down to 1/10 the usual, meaning food will last 10 times longer,” he explained proudly.

“Wow, most magic bags don’t have time stop or time slowing functions. If you sell this..”

[4] “I would get a lot of money, but then what? This magic bag has been with me for years and helped me out a lot during my Adventuring days. Nowadays, I keep the kids fed by buying bread and potatoes in bulk and keeping it in this bag.” [5] [6] “That’s a pretty good idea,” I said. It was not a perfect plan and the children don’t get enough vitamins and minerals, but they could at least fill their bellies.

“I have about half the space left, so if you will...”

“Yes, yes, well, here you go...” I started taking out leaf-wrapped parcels of pork and beef from my [Item Box].

“O-oi, please stop!”

“Hm? I can bring out more...”

“But I can’t stuff in anymore,” [7] the Director looked amused and exasperated at the same time. “Just how many monsters did you hunt down there...”

“Ah, that... ahahaha...” [5] [3] I have only taken out 10 packets of meat, each packet about 20kg each.

10 packets barely scratched the amount of meat I have left... [5]

As the Director packed the meat away into his magic bag, I decided to ask.

“So, how did a former Adventurer with a magic bag end up being an Orphanage Director?” [5] [5]

“Well... it’s...” the Director sighed.

“Sorry, I shouldn’t have asked,” I said quickly, worried that I had touched a sore point.

“No, it has already been 30 years. [5] [4] I married young and had a family soon after, which is quite unusual for Adventurers in general. My son was 10 years old when I made it to A Rank and it looked like I was on track to becoming an S Ranker. To qualify, I had to participate in a certain number of high-level missions. I took on one request from a friend for a long-term mission and was away for three months. That was when a pandemic hit the area where we had lived and my son died.”

[6] “O-oh,” I really don’t know what to say to that.

“My wife blamed me, it was only natural, of course. Had I been at home, I could have brought him to a church, buy healing potions through my connections... Had I been there, perhaps my son would still be alive...”

Clearly, it was a sad ‘what if’ story.

No matter what, his son had still died.

[8] His wife could not take it anymore they were eventually divorced. [1] His companions called him out to join their party and take missions as Adventurers again but he no longer had the heart for it. Instead, he had turned to alcohol for solace. [5] [5] “I was at my lowest then. I never believed in the Goddess of Water and just happened to rush into a nearby church for some reason. The priest there was very kind to me. He listened to my story without judgement and I was... well, I was really grateful for that.”

“[4] From then on, I began to recover. I went to church regularly and did all sorts of charity work. Later, I was informed that the director of the church-run orphanage was retiring and volunteered myself. [1] My son is no longer in this world, but there are many children in need of help. I consider it part of my atonement and, well, I wish to help those children as much as possible.”

Woah, to think that the Director has such a past...

Well, regardless of whether it was out of guilt or a desire for atonement, he was doing a good deed. [1] Honestly, I’m not sure if I could have done the same thing in his place.

Suddenly, I want to see this old man do his best. [1] Naturally, I want the children to live a better life too!

Overwhelmed by emotion, I took out two sacks of gold coins from my [Item Box].

“Here, please take this as my donation for the orphanage!” [7] I cried.

“You... this-”

“I’m an S Ranker so I make plenty of money. So, please, let me do this at least!”

“Huh... well, if you insist. Then, I shall take it.”

“Please use the money to fix up the building. I heard that it’s a bit leaky?”

“Gahaha! So you’ve heard about that too? Well, I’m not proud of it, but yeah, it does leak.”

“Ahah, I see, anyway, I shall return now. Please continue to do your best for the orphanage.”

“Ou! ...Mukouda-san, this grace, I shall never forget it. Thank you very much.”

The Director bowed deeply at me and-

Wait, the Director knew who I was?

[Gumihou: I think the old man, uncle and older brother thing was supposed to be funny? Gumi doesn’t get it? Also, the ending is... well]

[1] Structural Change: Combine 2 paragraphs

[2] Structural Change: Combine 3 paragraphs

[3] Structural Change: Combine paragraph & dialogue

[4] Structural Change: Change passive sentence to dialogue

[5] Delete Repetitive or Pointless Information... starting to delete pointless scenes now

[a] Reduce the length of ‘Fer afraid of kids’ joke

[6] Additional Information for Aesthetic Purpose

[7] Add Dialogue Tag

[8] Creative Licence Taken – Some text adjustments to make it more

[9] Donation conversation – the original was rather stilted, and the comedic parts did not quite hit the mark.

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